Paul has written and published four collections of Nonsense/Comic Verse with Illustrations, also Written and Illustrated many Picture Books. Details of which are below.
What on Earth is Going on?
The Hat, The Tree indoors, The Decorations And the Noise, The Constant Noise...
Join Isiah as he tries to understand The Christmas Season, that most Human but Confusing Time of the year...
See Some Illustrations Here
The Cheeseburger Fairy of Littlehampton
If you find yourself in Littlehampton,
Please, keep your eyes peeled.
There’s a fairy that resides there,
In the region of Brookfield.
And she lives for granting wishes
Whatever your hearts desire.
Like most fairies she longs to give
People what they require.
Well that’s not strictly accurate,
You, at least, have to say please
And even then, you’ll get your wish
Only if it’s a Burger with Cheese.
That’s the only wish she learnt how
To grant at Fairy school.
She was normally too busy dreaming
And acting the class fool.
So when it came to graduate,
All that she could do
Was produce delectable cheeseburgers
With pickles and onion too.
So if you now see this fairy type creature,
It won’t be a total surprise
And you can get a free cheeseburger,
But you’ll have to pay for your fries.
(c) Paul H. Tubb
Something bothered Jenny.
Her mother asked, “what’s wrong?”
Jenny replied, “I’m worried,
Due to the words of a Christmas song.”
Her Mum she was surprised and asked
“Which one is making you frown?”
Jenny then said, “It’s the one
About Santa Claus coming to town.
Well in the song it mentions a list
And it claims he checks it twice,
Well I am sorry but I do not believe
That two times will suffice.
I check my homework at least four times
Before I’m Certain of it
And that’s not as important as Santa’s list,
Which has to be right, every bit.
Every Child in the world’s on it and
There are billions as far as I’m aware,
I would like to think Santa, over the list,
Took appropriate care.
The song then tells all the children
To be good for goodness sake. Due to a silly clerical mistake.”
Well if you’re good you could be left out
Due to a silly clerical mistake.”
(c) Paul H Tubb
The bespectacled badger from Ballsbridge
Found it difficult to see.
The spectacles that gave him his name
Were totally and utterly
Useless, as they didn’t serve
The purpose that they should.
Although when he put them on himself
The badger thought they would.
He found them whilst rummaging in the bins
Of the local cinema.
This may also give you an idea
Why they’re as useless as they are.
They’re not glasses for improving sight
They’re for enhancing the effects
Of a movie, I believe they’re commonly known
In the trade as 3-D specs.
(c) Paul H Tubb